Confession Time

So you read it right, time for a little confession time.

For the last year or so, I have been completely self-absorbed. I have been so concerned with my life and my circumstances that those were all I saw. In talking to GOD, I was constantly asking "Why me?" or "When are YOU going to step in and help me?" or "Make me feel better." I have just been very selfish.

Some may say, "Don't we have the right to be selfish with GOD sometimes?" and sure we do. I'm not saying that. But HE built me with innerworkings to be most at peace when my mind is on the needs of others and meeting those needs. I have never been more restless and not at peace than in the last year. It's amazing to look back with some insight and see how ridiculously affected I was by this simple notion. My mind got smaller, my sleep became less, my closet got bigger, my fridge got fuller, and my heart got colder.

But thank GOD for HIS interventions. In the last couple of week, HE has been showing up in the most random places, reminding me of who I am and who HE made me to be. My heart immediately began bleeding watching a documentary about the Darfur genocide. Then, I began to think on the thousands of orphans in Ethiopia starving to death, the people proclaiming JESUS in the Middle East and China at the expense of their lives, the young children being trafficked into sex slavery across the world even here in the US. All of this has been occuring whileI sat comfortably with tons of clothes and food, getting an education for a medical career. What the #$&* is wrong with this picture?!?!

My world is slowly being tilted back to the way HE intended, my heart slowly being molded to feel the way HE feels about these hurts and injustices, my eyes being opened to the needs of those around me.

THANK GOD that HE doesn't give up and leave us at the dumpster to go off with the trash like we're willing to do to each other. Praying HIS love presides over these situations and over my heart and yours that we may not watch silently while HIS kids starve, hurt, die, etc at the hands of redeemable situations.

In HIS love.

Months in Review

I know I know, I'm a horrible blogger. Let me catch you up..kind of.

May- Alright, at the beginning of May I finished up my 3rd semester of PA school. I was planning on doing my first triathalon in New Orleans before heading home but my knee decided differently. Instead, I headed home to TN early for an Ortho consult. I also got to spend alot of fun family time. Due to the knee ending up needing surgery, I got to stay home for the Memorial Day crawfish boil with my family and go kayaking too!

June- The first week of June I was supposed to begin my 4th semester of PA school. Instead, I stayed home to have my knee scoped. Then, Dad drove me (hauling my car) 2 days postop to Montgomery to meet some friends who drove me and my car the rest of the way back to Mobile since I still couldn't drive. At the end of June, we celebrated one of my friends' birthday early by spending a weekend in Atlanta at a WNBA game and Six Flags. We sat on the front row right behind Diana Taurasi..we were all in basketball heaven.

July-This month has been full of school, school, school. I have had tons of tests this semester because it's so short. I did manage a trip home for the 4th of July weekend which was much needed with a short stop in Montgomery. I finish my didactic year in a week and take my PACKRAT (mock board exam) next week. Then I'll have a 3 week break before starting my year of clinical rotations (I start out in pediatrics!!) For that break, I'll spend most of it on the road in Atlanta, Chicago, and Guatemala. Things are getting exciting around here!!

LOVE.

Just Keep Swimmin..

Well, as you know, I'm training for the Iron Girl triathalon in New Orleans on May 22. The swimming has been and will continue to be the hardest part for me, but today was a MAJOR accomplishment. The swim in the race is a quarter mile. Today, I swam my first full distance without stopping!!! I just got in the zone and felt so accomplished when I finished, like I may actually do this after all.

In other news, my birthday is Wednesday so this past week some friends and I went over to Pensacola so see Sugarland, Little Big Town, and Matt Nathanson. Let me just say it was the best concert EVER! We were AT the stage. Jennifer Nettles of Sugarland called me gorgeous and told me happy birthday. One of the guys from Little Big Town walked over and put one of his guitar picks in my hand. And, for the whole night, my friends and I sang at the top of our lungs. From the time we left the hotel to go to dinner, from dinner to the show, all through the show, and all night long we were rocking out some Sugarland! I'm not a big country fan and those that know me know that, but they are definitely one of my favorite music acts, period.















Anyways, it's birthday week and I've already taken my one test of the week so it's time to CELEBRATE!

LOVE.

What's New

Well this week is SPRING BREAK and I left the beach to come home! haha. It's always nice to be home but I've decided it's a great demotivator for my workout routine because it's been really cold outside and I don't have a gym. Oh well, guess I'll be playing catch up on my triathalon stuff soon. Also, when I get to come home, my time is limited so I don't want to spend it all working out.

This week, I went back to the cardiologist. They determined I have what's called vasovagal syncope. It's basically a dysfunction of my autonomic nervous system where my brain thinks my heart is beating too fast even when it's beating normally. So, it sends a signal telling it to slow down even though it doesn't need to be slowed. This extreme slowing plummets my heart rate and causes me to pass out. So, now I get to take a daily medication that should control it. It's good to at least know what's going on.

The rest of this week, I'll be at the NAIA tournament in Jackson. Then, on my way back down south, I'll make a pit stop in Auburn to see my Lady Raiders play in the NCAA tournament!!!

...oh and did I mention, I have a practical focused physical and two tests as soon as I get back?

In HIS love.

Sad Week..

This past Wednesday night, Tina Stewart, a member of the team I used to work with, the MTSU Lady Raider basketball team, was brutally stabbed to death by her roommate.

There are no words to describe the shock that something like this would ever occur, much less to someone I know. There are no words to describe the pain to see her current teammate's faces. There are no words to describe the gut wrenching words on her boyfriend KC's heart (who found her) when he said "Everyone keeps saying to focus on the good and not the bad, but that's hard when you know the good could have lasted forever." There are no words to describe the anger that rises up when I think about who could do such a horrible thing. There are no words to describe what I want to say to people who speculate when they know nothing about Tina. There are no words to describe the sorrow this tragedy has brought to the Blue Raider community, of whom I will always be a part.

My heart breaks in the midst of this horrible ordeal. My prayers and thoughts are with the Lady Raiders as they have chosen to continue on to the Sun Belt Conference Tournament and play their first game tomorrow. GOD, bring peace, comfort, and YOUR indescribable love to us all.

In HIS love.

Drowning in Ponchatrain

Yesterday, I signed up for my first triathalon!!! I'm super excited and ready for a new challenge. It will be in New Orleans in May...the swimming will definitely be the hardest part for me. Hopefully I won't drown in Lake Ponchatrain!

I'm a Pro.

Well this weekend I made a tour of Alabama, in a sense. First, I hit up Troy to watch MTSU's women play there. Then headed on up to Auburn to watch some softball before finally hitting Birmingham for the Alabama Society of Physician Assistant's (ASPA)conference.

The ASPA conference is a meeting of all PA members working in Alabama where they come listen to lectures and get CME credits for maintaining their licensure. These lectures range from Trauma Surgery to Diabetes to Adrenal Disease and everywhere in between. Today, there was a completely different program for students. We had morning lectures on how to code things so they can be billed properly and we get reimbursed (basically learn how to do it so you can get paid). Then, we learned about the PA job search and contract negotiations which was super enlightening. Next was the real fun....

The afternoon session started with us going into 3 groups to participate in 3 separate physical exam workshops. We had a Cardiac one where we listened to heart sounds and talked about different pathologies associated with them. In our Orthopedic group, we went through some knee and shoulder exam techniques. Then, in the Neuro group, we went through the major things to look for and what they may mean, specific to neurologic deficits. But even then, the real fun came next......
We had a casting lab and a suture lab. In the casting lab, we learned how to do short arm casts then got to put them on each other!! SO COOL! But the best of the best part was suture lab. They gave us the typical suture kit and a pig's foot. We gave our little piggy some lacerations then went to fixing them up. I put about 10 stitches in 2 separate cuts, and I'm not lying, they looked REAL good! haha. I just didn't have my phone to take a picture because I would have much rather posted that.

Anyways, all in all, I learned alot and it was a weekend well spent.

In HIM.

So, It's Been A Minute...

So I just realized, I've been a horrible blogger. My last post was 4 months ago. So, now I'm going to try to play catch up and continue my attempt to do better at this whole blogging thing.

Well, since October, I've finished and started another semester of PA school. I'm officially in my third semester and it's crazy as ever. In August, I'll be done with my classroom portion and start my clinical year which is CRAZY! Also in August, I'll be going back to Guatemala over my break to work with Health Talents International again on another medical mission trip which I couldn't be more excited about. I can't wait to have more experiences like this one:


In other news, I've just been really dragging lately. I've not been getting to spend alot of alone time with GOD and it's definitely taken its toll on my spirit. But tonight, I got to spend alot of time with HIM, reflecting on HIS promises and HIS authority in my life. HE is so good and I don't deserve HIM. I ended up listening to a song that a friend and I wrote a while back and it just soothed everything within me. Here are the lyrics to the first verse and chorus:

Lay my offering down at YOUR feet
I'm hoping YOU will come look at me
I'm bruised and beaten
I chose all my stones
And I'm here seeking
Redemption from the ONE

At the garden,
I enter guilty and ashamed
In YOUR presence
I fall down on my face
I want to know YOU
I want to feel YOUR embrace
In the stillness
I am seeking YOUR face

I just wanted to share that so you can know what brings me ridiculous peace, HIS embrace of love.

LOVE in HIM.