Confession Time

So you read it right, time for a little confession time.

For the last year or so, I have been completely self-absorbed. I have been so concerned with my life and my circumstances that those were all I saw. In talking to GOD, I was constantly asking "Why me?" or "When are YOU going to step in and help me?" or "Make me feel better." I have just been very selfish.

Some may say, "Don't we have the right to be selfish with GOD sometimes?" and sure we do. I'm not saying that. But HE built me with innerworkings to be most at peace when my mind is on the needs of others and meeting those needs. I have never been more restless and not at peace than in the last year. It's amazing to look back with some insight and see how ridiculously affected I was by this simple notion. My mind got smaller, my sleep became less, my closet got bigger, my fridge got fuller, and my heart got colder.

But thank GOD for HIS interventions. In the last couple of week, HE has been showing up in the most random places, reminding me of who I am and who HE made me to be. My heart immediately began bleeding watching a documentary about the Darfur genocide. Then, I began to think on the thousands of orphans in Ethiopia starving to death, the people proclaiming JESUS in the Middle East and China at the expense of their lives, the young children being trafficked into sex slavery across the world even here in the US. All of this has been occuring whileI sat comfortably with tons of clothes and food, getting an education for a medical career. What the #$&* is wrong with this picture?!?!

My world is slowly being tilted back to the way HE intended, my heart slowly being molded to feel the way HE feels about these hurts and injustices, my eyes being opened to the needs of those around me.

THANK GOD that HE doesn't give up and leave us at the dumpster to go off with the trash like we're willing to do to each other. Praying HIS love presides over these situations and over my heart and yours that we may not watch silently while HIS kids starve, hurt, die, etc at the hands of redeemable situations.

In HIS love.